Hi there! Welcome back to this weeks Coffee Shop Diaries!
Ya'll this week was too crazy. I started my first week at an elementary school as a fourth grade bilingual permanent sub since I am still in the process of taking my state exams and WOOOOAAAHH. You guys, my heart is going crazy. For starters the school is located in the downtown San Antonio area and it's not the prettiest. I didn't grow up in a super pretty neighborhood but this area is one where cops are at all the time. It's not that they live in poverty but you could see that they are troubled humans. It's sad to witness, and I have never been so close to it like this before. The neighborhood is kind of like the movie the Blindside, where people are outside staring you down and you kinda feel frighten even if you are in your car. People are posted up outside and in some way you feel as if they will pull out a gun at any moment. It's not because you look at a person and decide that's who they are, it has nothing to do with profiling them, but everyone who works there receives an orientation from SAPD that let us know to be very cautious in that area due to drug, and gang violence.
The first time I drove to work, I made eye contact with some of the folks in the neighborhood and they stared me deep into my soul. Anyhow, first day of school I got yelled at by my fourth grader. I was like ok... and let him be. I took them to lunch and decided to let someone know about what had happened. The other teacher let me know that both his parents died at different times and he has been going through a very hard time. From that moment I told myself that kid could yell at me all he wants. Later that day, I tried helping out another student who told me when he got to high school he was going to drop out because he just wanted to work at H-E-B for the rest of his life and that he didn't need to go to school to work there. I couldn't help but think what they tell this kid at home... but it did bother me so I helped him as much as I can but it is hard to help those who don't want to be helped.
This past Friday I talked to another troubled child, one who they surprisingly let be on his phone (I make him put it away because I think it's odd that the school allows it) we get along pretty well. He doesn't talk to anyone really but to me, he really opened up and his story sent me home crying.
To keep it short, he said "Miss, I hate my mom. She left me and my family to be with someone else. I am alone, no one cares about me and my dad comes home drunk almost everyday. My entire family has been to jail and I want to go too. They have free food there and they give you a bed." My heart sank and I want to make it my mission to help this child as much as I can as long as I am there.
It is eye opening to hear these child's stories because I never been exposed to this before. My heart really feels for them. About 10min after he told me this he started crunching up papers and hitting himself. I asked him to stop and he said no... I asked him why and he said "I have so much pain inside me... I need to let it out."
You can say my week was filled with new experiences and eye opening situations that are happening all around us but many don't even notice. I have always loved kids but I encourage you to always smile to anyone you see. Some children don't have it easy. We sometimes question why people are the way they are without even knowing what they have been through.
Being an educator isn't easy. You face battles everyday. Not just living in fear of potential shootings, or your students failing the STAAR exams, the biggest one is the fear of seeing the student you taught for over 180 days end up in misery or not getting to the age of 18.
I have been thinking a lot about it and my purpose in this world. No matter where I end up I know I will be helping children as much as I can.
Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG, Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
High of the week: Working with a student who seems to hate everyone else because I got him off his phone and doing work. It felt amazing!
Low of the week: Hearing a lot of my students stories.
Coffee Shop: S3 Coffee Bar 6171 Mission Gorge Rd #102, San Diego, CA 92120
What we ordered: Available weekends only "Rainbow Coffee" the cute, adorable design that captured my eye! Yes, it may look too pretty to be true, but man does it also tastes so good! It definitely is sweet, so if you got that sweet tooth this drink will definitely hit the spot. There is so much to choose from and they all come in pretty colors! The inside of the coffee shop is totally going to look good on your Instagram feed! Cactus with a phone that says hello? Yes, please! Everything you order is going to not only look amazing but taste amazing too! I recommend going on the weekend so you can try out the rainbow latte and grab some of their delicious toast while your at it! Be sure to tag me in your pictures if you go :D
Happy Monday loves! Thanks for stopping by!
♥
𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊ys,
Jazz
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